i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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