Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
