I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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