update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We need to rekindle our bromance
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
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