hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
