whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
