I showed him my bush... on skype.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
