we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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