Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
