so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
