yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
