i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
