it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
