I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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