My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
