i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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