u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
