The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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