I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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