I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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