theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
