Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
