there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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