I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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