oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
