We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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