WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
