Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
