She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
