I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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