If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
