u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
