Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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