Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
