already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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