i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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