I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
