I want to make a zoo with you.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
