I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
