So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
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and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize