Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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