im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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