also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
barbara walters just said penis...
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
