help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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