So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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