she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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