There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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