Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.

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(954): View more from Florida

i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(949): View more from California

My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.

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(214): View more from Texas

Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.

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(818): View more from California

I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant

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