just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
