im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position