she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites