I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
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