Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.