Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.

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(702): View more from Nevada

I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer

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(740): View more from Ohio

he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.

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19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Read it at the TFLN blog
(269): View more from Michigan

All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.

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(240): View more from Maryland

Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.

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(352): View more from Florida

This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa

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