Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.

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  (949): i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole. http://tfl.nu/wmi4
  Replies (37) Good night (705) Bad night (3200)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Whatever it was. it was pregnant.

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  (304): Whatever it was. it was pregnant. http://tfl.nu/utv2
  Replies (6) Good night (748) Bad night (4766)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  pedialite and red bull = repair kit

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  (954): pedialite and red bull = repair kit http://tfl.nu/fijn
  Replies (22) Good night (3442) Bad night (801)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  You can't date a girl from every country.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  I'm the captain planet of women

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  (678): You can't date a girl from every country. (770): I'm the captain planet of women http://tfl.nu/8wp1
  Replies (19) Good night (5163) Bad night (705)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.

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  (859): I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze. http://tfl.nu/hayj
  Replies (17) Good night (853) Bad night (5202)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I don't know where I am but there are firefighters

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  (269): I don't know where I am but there are firefighters http://tfl.nu/dbyd
  Replies (18) Good night (6487) Bad night (1187)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  "Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move

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  (601): "Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move http://tfl.nu/qn14
  Replies (10) Good night (1208) Bad night (3411)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"

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  (936): the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?" http://tfl.nu/8dlf
  Replies (11) Good night (4942) Bad night (1264)
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  (650): View more from California

  dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king

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  (650): dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king http://tfl.nu/ix08
  Replies (12) Good night (5593) Bad night (1106)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing

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  (512): I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing http://tfl.nu/1m78
  Replies (2) Good night (1090) Bad night (1617)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.

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  (304): He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered. http://tfl.nu/u1qq
  Replies (20) Good night (2363) Bad night (953)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever

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  (785): You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever http://tfl.nu/34h5
  Replies (2) Good night (1404) Bad night (590)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.

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  (586): I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them. http://tfl.nu/3swq
  Replies (2) Good night (624) Bad night (399)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?

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  (405): Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50? http://tfl.nu/w6wp
  Replies (6) Good night (1261) Bad night (368)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.

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  (469): He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am. http://tfl.nu/tu7g
  Replies (1) Good night (906) Bad night (338)

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