You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
