i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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