Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
