How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
