just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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