"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
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Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
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She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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