You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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