AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
