He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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