Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i would punch a child for taco bell
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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