He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
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He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
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We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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