quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize