I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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