i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
