I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
