Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
