Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.