Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman