Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Tell him ill love him long time

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  I'll assure him of it

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  (773): Tell him ill love him long time (1-773): I'll assure him of it http://tfl.nu/0jov
  Replies (3) Good night (1726) Bad night (726)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion

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  (215): I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion http://tfl.nu/gpfj
  Replies (68) Good night (4788) Bad night (808)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer

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  (706): He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer http://tfl.nu/ep3s
  Replies (11) Good night (4405) Bad night (1060)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.

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  (609): This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn. http://tfl.nu/9axz
  Replies (30) Good night (7384) Bad night (1325)
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  (530): View more from California

  Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.

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  (530): Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed. http://tfl.nu/8sey
  Replies (12) Good night (1021) Bad night (3080)
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  (516): View more from New York

  She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.

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  (516): She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her. http://tfl.nu/vneo
  Replies (3) Good night (909) Bad night (3054)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.

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  (407): Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple. http://tfl.nu/3342
  Replies (4) Good night (1842) Bad night (751)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.

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  (970): Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them. http://tfl.nu/rk1i
  Replies (9) Good night (1654) Bad night (871)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth

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  (405): Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth http://tfl.nu/55g6
  Replies (0) Good night (983) Bad night (620)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!

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  (864): my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year! http://tfl.nu/rim4
  Replies (8) Good night (873) Bad night (457)
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  (914): View more from New York

  When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.

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  (914): When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked. http://tfl.nu/4q7m
  Replies (5) Good night (2272) Bad night (512)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.

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  (302): I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever. http://tfl.nu/6hp3
  Replies (2) Good night (957) Bad night (483)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.

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  (817): I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up. http://tfl.nu/9qtu
  Replies (9) Good night (1204) Bad night (451)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.

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  (469): TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low. http://tfl.nu/y5ae
  Replies (0) Good night (626) Bad night (360)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?

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  (248): I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex? http://tfl.nu/7avt
  Replies (1) Good night (859) Bad night (307)

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