Texts From Last Night

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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range

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  (316): Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range http://tfl.nu/j5nd
  Replies (11) Good night (875) Bad night (2344)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  she says it's "been amazing lately"

  (540): View more from Virginia

  i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half

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  (540): she says it's "been amazing lately" (540): i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half http://tfl.nu/wgvp
  Replies (27) Good night (3545) Bad night (798)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt

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  (386): you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt http://tfl.nu/6l3r
  Replies (9) Good night (1091) Bad night (3156)
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  (516): View more from New York

  any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?

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  (516): any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club? http://tfl.nu/452g
  Replies (15) Good night (4511) Bad night (860)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.

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  (617): I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits. http://tfl.nu/9n54
  Replies (10) Good night (1470) Bad night (3523)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music

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  (303): Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music http://tfl.nu/qvs5
  Replies (9) Good night (920) Bad night (3117)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.

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  (202): Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands. http://tfl.nu/c22a
  Replies (4) Good night (2569) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong

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  (610): At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong http://tfl.nu/hvr0
  Replies (5) Good night (1077) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.

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  (803): Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now. http://tfl.nu/z1h4
  Replies (2) Good night (752) Bad night (479)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.

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  (720): I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned. http://tfl.nu/lcb4
  Replies (4) Good night (1258) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you

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  (201): Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting (978): In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you http://tfl.nu/ucjj
  Replies (5) Good night (747) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard

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  (843): And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married (1-843): That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard http://tfl.nu/54cc
  Replies (4) Good night (736) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?

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  (419): So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk? http://tfl.nu/8zbp
  Replies (8) Good night (546) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.

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  (905): yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child. http://tfl.nu/c0t1
  Replies (0) Good night (311) Bad night (296)
• Favorite

  (+34): View more from Spain

  Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.

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  (+34): Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one. http://tfl.nu/wwjy
  Replies (0) Good night (549) Bad night (176)

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