who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
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