tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
