Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
