That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
