Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Randomize
